This is NOT my life! — Locked in the trap of compulsory to conform

30/09/2018
SELF-AWARENESS, CREDIBILITY. Have you ever thought about being happy or not in your current life situation? Are you really walking your own path or do you spend your days on an inescapable route laid down by others? Have you reached the objectives set in your youth or your life is full of boredom and you continuously compare yourself to others? Compulsory to conform is a slow and cruel killer: many times its hidden signs keep on accumulating in its victims for long years. Its destroying impacts can come to the surface at the most unexpected moments and the range of negative consequences is infinite.

Who would you like to conform to? Or who would you NOT like to conform to? If you only wish to impress yourself, then you must be on the right track. But let's see what is worth knowing about this problem unfortunately getting more and more widespread in our modern days!


What is the cause of this unhealthy state?

  • It is primarily originated from the lack of love
  • The main source of lack of love is the lack of self-efficacy.

What are the main symptoms of compulsory to conform?

  • You continuously try to impress others
  • You are characterized by an extreme level of maximalism, you are never satisfied with your current situation - according to the American expert Brené Brown you carry a '20 ton shield'
  • You always compare yourself to others
  • You think that your environment will only accept you, you will only be 'good enough', if you fulfill the expectations towards you
  • You always depend on the opinion of your family, friends, teachers, colleagues even before small decisions
  • You do not have your own objectives, others keep on telling you what would be the best for you as per them.

Where can extreme compulsory to conform lead to?

  • Boring everday life, where every minute is the same
  • Tiredness, exhaustion, overwork
  • You lose your interest in the little wonders of the world
  • In the end you will not be able to conform to anyone at all
  • In extreme cases it can even harm your health and various mental disorders might occur
  • One thing is sure: the end result is your own unhappiness.

How can you protect yourself against it?

  • You learn to say no
  • You reject emotional manipulation and psychic vampires
  • You do not take on tasks, responsibilities, unnecessary overtime, which do not make you happy
  • You put yourself first
  • You work on increasing your self-efficacy and let yourself be yourself
  • You manage to find some me-time every day, when you only look into the inside and you concentrate on your own desires
  • You only spend your free time with ones you really love
  • You practice mindfulness, exercise regularly an do yoga
  • You turn to an expert: coach, psychologist or in the worst case to a psychiatrist.


Are these symptoms familiar to you? I know exactly how many negative impacts they can have on your everyday life. So my message to you is: be proud to be yourself, stand up for your objectives, dreams and do something every day to reach them! Because it is possible that the person you wanted to impress unconsciously for months in an area unimportant for you will not be there in your life in 5 years' time at all! And then how will you explain yourself the wasted years? It can happen that you are the talented painter, who is bored out of his mind as a lawyer or the potentially extraordinary motivational speaker who functions as a personal assistant from 9 to 5...


Do not forget: the solution is already there within you! As a business and life coach I find it extremely important to help my clients find their destiny and give up the compulsory to conform! If you are also experiencing the symptoms and are interested, please call me on +36302781905 or write to info@karolyvizdakcoach.hu still today!


Károly Vizdák

business, life & health coach

motivational advisor

www.karolyvizdakcoach.hu

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