"If not me, then who?" – How to be your own mentor and not lose yourself in the jungle of development
Have you ever felt like you were waiting for "someone" to tell you what to do? That a great wise master would come and save you from indecision, procrastination, or the gray Tuesday blues? I have good news: they're already here. Just look in the mirror! (No, don't hide—it's really you.)
That's the essence of self-mentoring: we don't wait for a savior, we don't mourn missed opportunities, we start working with ourselves. It's not so scary, is it?
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What is self-mentoring and why is it (not) cool?
Self-mentoring is nothing more than conscious self-development in a structured form: goals, feedback, learning – but all under your own control. This is not a modern craze: according to the Harvard Business Review (2023), 67% of people say that they have learned most from themselves during their career.
This process is the DIY version of personal development – but instead of IKEA furniture, you're dealing with questions of self-awareness.
And no, it's not lame. It's actually pretty brave. Because taking responsibility for ourselves is like being our own coach, referee, and cheerleader all at once. Is it hard? Of course. But is it worth it? Absolutely.
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Practical tips – or how to mentor yourself without going crazy
1. Set goals for improvement – but not for a whole year
Weekly or monthly mini-goals are much more achievable. For example: "This week, I will read a professional book for 20 minutes every day." (And not TikTok comments!)
2. Keep a journal – but be honest
Write down what you have achieved and what you haven't. Ask yourself: "What would I do differently if I had a mentor's advice?" This question is often enough to bring about change.
3. Use feedback tools
For example, rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 in the evening: "How well did I use my day?" – 3? Tomorrow is a brand new day.
4. Schedule a weekly self-coaching session
30 minutes when you don't email, don't multitask, just think and plan. Create space and time for your own development.
5. Have an accountability buddy
If not a mentor, then someone who asks you every week, "So, have you made any progress?" Being held accountable is more motivating than you might think.
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What if you fail?
Then you get up. Because this isn't a sprint, it's an endless marathon in which you are both the runner and the finish line. Failure? It's part of learning. As Nelson Mandela said, "I never lose: I either win or learn."
So don't wait for an external "savior." Pick up a pen and write the first chapter of your own mentor book. It may be bumpy, but at least it will be your own story.
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To wrap-up – a little humor
Self-mentoring is like going for a run at six in the morning. In theory, it's fantastic. Then reality sets in: "Just five more minutes..." But once you get started, you realize it's not so bad. In fact, it's liberating.
And who knows? Maybe your future self is already waving from afar, saying, "Go for it, keep going!"
Friendly regards,
Károly Vizdák
business & life coach
motivational advisor
#karolyvizdakcoach #mentor #self-development #tips #getup